Xander - Quotes

  • "Oh, I'm up. I'm suddenly very up. It's just, um, I've never been up with people before"
    Season 3
  • "What, you just tripped and fell on his lips?"
    Season 3
  • "If anyone sees my spine laying around, just try not to step on it."
    Season 3
  • "Excuse me? Who, at a crucial moment, distracted the lead demon by allowing her to pummel him about the head?"
    Season 3
  • "Well, it must be that whole Angel-killed-his-girlfriend-and-tortured-him thing. Hey, Giles is pretty petty when it comes to stuff like that."
    Season 3
  • "Generally speaking, when scary things get scared - not good."
    Season 3
  • "Okay, so one vote from the Old Guy for a Smelly Cheese Night, and how many votes for actual fun, huh?"
    Season 3
  • "I've always been amazed with how Buffy fought, but in a way, I feel like we took her punning for granted."
    Season 3
  • "For what? For Angel to go psycho again the next time you give him a happy?"
    Season 3
  • "Oh, it must be that whole 'Angel killed his girlfriend and tortured him' thing, and Giles is petty when it comes to stuff like that."
    Season 3
  • "The comedy stylings of Miss Cordelia Chase, everyone. Who, incidentally, won't be needing a higher education when she markets her own very successful line of hooker wear"
    Season 3
  • "Will, this is verging on naughty touching, here. Don't want to fall back on bad habits. Hands! Hands in new places"
    Season 3
  • "Oh my god, he's looking at her! He's got his filthy, adult, Pierce-Brosny eyes all over my Cordy"
    Season 3
  • "What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time. Sex. Help! 4 times 5 is 30. 5 times 6 is 32. Naked girls. Naked women. Naked Buffy. Oh, stop me!"
    Season 3
  • "I need a volunteer to hit Wesley"
    Season 3
  • "Well, it's just good to know that when the chips are down and things look grim, you'll feed on the girl who loves you to save your own ass"
    Season 3
  • "He got hit by the Buffinator. Now he's powerless."
    Season 4
  • "Buffy, this is all about fear. It's understandable, but you can't let it control you. "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to anger." No wait, hold on. "Fear leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side." Hold on, no, umm, ""First you get the women, then you get the money, then you..." Okay, can we forget that?"
    Season 4
  • "You and Willow go do the superpower thing, I'll stay behind and putt around the Batcave with crusty old Alfred here."
    Season 4
  • "I didn't order any vampires"
    Season 4
  • "Anya? Last time I saw you fleeing in terror. So how'd that work out for you?"
    Season 4
  • "Well, how about this? We whip out the ouija board, light a few candles, summon some ancient, unstoppable evil. Mayhem, mayhem, mayhem."
    Season 4
  • "But sexual interc-- What you're talking about, well--and I'm actually turning into a woman as I say this--but it's about expressing something. And accepting consequences"
    Season 4
  • "And the amazing thing... still more romantic than Faith"
    Season 4
  • "Whoa, Giles has a TV. Everybody, Giles has a TV! He's shallow like us"
    Season 4

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