Season Two - Cordelia - Quotes

  • "I ran. I think I made it through three counties before I realized nobody was chasing me"
  • "Gee, Xander, what are you gonna teach when you fail in life? Advanced loser-being?"
  • "Buffy - love the hair. It just screams street urchin."
  • "Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass."
  • "Damn it, Xander, what's going on? Who died and made you Elvis?"
  • "I aspire to help my fellow man.'Check. As long as he's not smelly, dirty or something gross"
  • "It was a nightmare, a total nightmare. I mean, they promised me they'd take me to St. Croix, and then they just decide to go to Tuscany. Art and buildings? I was totally beachless for a month and a half. No one has suffered like I have suffered. Of course, I think that that kind of adversity builds character. Well, then I thought, 'I already have a lot of character.' Is it possible to have too much character?"
  • "So can I go now? She doesn't need this many stakes. I mean, if this guy Spike is as mean as you all said, it should be over pretty quickly."
  • "We're still all rooting for you on Saturday. I'd be there for you myself if I didn't have a leg wax"
  • "Buffy, these men are rich, and I am not being shallow. Think of all the poor people I could help with all my money."
  • "Look, Buffy, you may be hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever, but when it comes to dating, I'm the Slayer"
  • "Oh, he's a vampire. Of course! But the cuddly kind, like a Care Bear with fangs?"
  • "I just don't see why everyone's always picking on Marie Antoinette. I can so relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good, and people just don't appreciate that kind of effort. And I know the peasants were all depressed"
  • "Whatever. They were cranky. So they're like, 'Let's lose some heads!' Ugh, that's fair. And, eh, Marie Antoinette cared about them. She was gonna' let them have cake."
  • "I aspire to help my fellow man.' Check. As long as he's not smelly, dirty, or something gross."
  • "And what if she is, exactly? What are you gonna' do about it? In case you haven't noticed, you're the lameness and she's the super chick or whatever."
  • "I know, you were too busy rushing off to die for your beloved Buffy. You'd never die for me"
  • "This is great. There's an unkillable demon in town, Angel's joined his side, the Slayer's a basket case, I'd say we've hit bottom"
  • "We didn't come here to talk about Willow. We came here to do things... I can never tell my father about because he still thinks I'm a...good girl"
  • "Look around. We're in my daddy's car. It's just the two of us. There is a beautiful, big, full moon outside tonight. It doesn't get more romantic than this. So shut up!"
  • "And keep your mom-aged mitts off my boyfriend. Former!"
  • "You're a sheep. All you ever do is what everyone else does, just so you can say you did it first. And here I am, scrambling for your approval, when I'm way cooler than you are, 'cause I'm not a sheep. I do what I want to do, and I wear what I want to wear, and you know what? I date whoever the hell I want to date. No matter how lame he is."
  • "Why doesn't he just slit her throat, or strangle her while she's sleeping, or cut her heart out? What? I'm trying to help"
  • "Well, I was using the phrase 'watch her back' as a euphemism for looking at her butt. You know, sort of a pun."
  • "Gee, Xander, and what are you gonna' to teach when you fail in life? Advanced loser being?"