Season Three - Cordelia - Quotes

  • "Ooo, again, I strike the nerve. I am the surgeon of mean."
  • "Planning life as a loser? Most people just turn out that way, but you're really taking charge."
  • "It must be a drag to be stuck here in Sweatydale, but I'm thinking of you."
  • "My point however, crazy or not, is pretty much the only plan. Besides, it's Buffy's, and she's slay gal. You know, little Miss Likes-to-fight"
  • "Oh, God. Is the world ending? I have to research a paper on Bosnia for tomorrow, but if the world's ending, I'm not gonna bother"
  • "I wish all men except maybe the dumb and the really agreeable kind disappear off the face of the earth. That would be so cool!"
  • "Ooo, is some evil going on?"
  • "He didn't try to slit our throats or anything. That's progress."
  • "Ooo, look, it's Mr. Excitement. On another life-or-death doughnut mission, or are we just cruising for bimbos again, giving them lessons in lack of cool?"
  • "Hi Mr. Beach. Are you planning on killing a bunch of people tomorrow? Oh, it's for the yearbook"
  • "Actually, I'm looking forward to it. I do well on standardized tests. What? I can't have layers?"
  • "Do guns make you wanna have sex?"
  • "What is it with you and Slayers? Maybe I should dress up as one, and put a stake to your throat"
  • "Oz ate someone last night"
  • "Hello? How stupid are you people? She's a Slayer. I'm a Homecoming Queen!"
  • "Mom started borrowing my clothes. There should be an age limit on Lycra pants. Dad, he just locked himself in the bathroom with old copies of Esquire"
  • "What gives you the right to suck face with your demon lover again?"
  • "I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale"
  • "I doubt your doubt. Everyone knows that witches killed those kids, and Amy is a witch. And Michael is whatever the boy of witch is, plus being the poster child for yuch. If you're going to hang with them, expect badness. 'Cause that's what you get when you hang with freaks and losers. Believe me, I know. That was a pointed comment about me hanging with you guys"
  • "I came over here to tell Buffy to stop this craziness, and found you all unconscious--again. How many times have you been knocked out, anyway? I swear, one of these times, you're going to wake up in a coma"
  • "Boy, of all the humiliations you've had I've witnessed, that was the latest"
  • "Because, unlike all those other creatures that you've come face-to-face with, Jack actually noticed you were there"
  • "Cool.' Look it up. It's something that a subliterate that's repeated 12th grade three times has and you don't. There was no part of that that wasn't fun"
  • "That's so cute. Planning life as a loser? Most people just turn out that way, but you're really taking charge"
  • "I like a man with two last names. I'm Cordelia"
  • "I'm sorry, Buffy, this conversation is reserved for those who actually have a future"
  • "And once again, the gold medal in the being wrong event goes to Xander "I'm as stupid as I look" Harris"
  • "The other part that totally weirded me out, that thing had good taste. He chucked Xander and went right for the formalwear"
  • "Dignity? You? In relation to clothes? I'm awash in a sea of confusion"
  • "But does he have to leave the country? I mean, you got fired and you still hang around like a big loser. Why can't he?"