Season Four - Spike - Quotes

  • "Haven't you figured it all out yet, with your enormous squishy frontal lobes?"
  • "It's definitely the crypt, right? I'm not keen on tunneling into someone's septic tank."
  • "Listen to me, you stupid bint. This gem is everything I came back to Sunnydale for, which has witnessed some truly spectacular kickings of my ass. Now, when I have the gem, they'll all die, don't worry. But until then, stay inside. And by the way, I would be insanely happy if I heard bugger all about sodding France."
  • "And I'm just supposed to help you out of the evilness of my heart?"
  • "Delivering melted cheese on bread, doing your part to keep America constipated."
  • "I love syphilis more than you"
  • "Listen to me, you stupid bint. This gem is everything. I came back to Sunnydale for it, a place which has witnessed some truly spectacular kickings of my ass"
  • "The gem of Amarra. Official sponsor of my killing you"
  • "Got to hand it to you, Goldilocks. You do have bleeding tragic taste in men. I got a cousin married to a regurgitating Froglocsteem that's got better instincts than you"
  • "Hello, gorgeous"
  • "I'll give you a choice. Now, I'm going to kill you - no choice in that. But... I can let you stay dead... or bring you back, to be like me"
  • "I hate being obvious. All fangy and 'grr!' Takes the mystery out"
  • "I'm only 126!"
  • "Can I have someone to eat?"
  • "I'm saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet, and now he doesn't chase the other puppies any more"
  • "Oh, someone put a stake in me"
  • "You won. All right? You came in, and you killed them and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do. It's what Caesar did, and he's not going around saying, 'I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it."
  • "Comfy? I'm chained in a bathtub, drinking pigs blood from a novelty mug. Doesn't rate huge in the Zagat's guide"
  • "What, are you people blind? She's hangin' on by a thread. Any ninny can see that"
  • "Oh, pouty. Look at that lip. Gonna get it. Gonna... get it"
  • "Well, I gotta have something. I still have Buffy taste in my mouth"
  • "Yeah, well, I'm not the one who wanted "Wind Beneath My Wings" for the first dance"
  • "Yeah, well, sometimes I like to crumble up the weetabix in the blood. Gives it a little texture"
  • "Sissy"
  • "I'm not having these two shag while I'm tied to a chair three feet away"
  • "Good-bye, Dru. See you in hell"
  • "Oh, but you can. You know I'd drain you drier than the Sahara if I had half a chance. And besides, I'm beyond pathetic"
  • "You. Kids your age are going off to university. You've made it as far as the basement. And Red here - you couldn't even keep dog-boy happy. You can take the loser out of high school, but..."
  • "That's right! I'm back, and I'm a bloody animal! Yeah!"
  • "What's this? Sitting around watching the telly while there's evil still afoot? It's not very industrious of you. I say, we go out there, and kick a little demon ass. What, can't go without your Buffy? Is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her. She is the Chosen One, after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty. Let's annihilate them. For justice, and for the safety of puppies, and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil. Let's kill something. Oh, come on!"
  • "Hey! What am I, a bleeding broken record? I'm bad. It's just... I can't bite anymore. Thanks to you wankers"
  • "Tell you what I'll do, then. I'll head out, find this girl, tell her exactly where all of you are, and then watch... as she kills you. Can't any one of your damned little Scooby club at least try to remember that I hate you all?"
  • "Dark hair, this tall, name of Faith. Criminally insane. I like this girl already"
  • "The thing about the Slayer is, she is a whiney little thing, but when it comes to the fighting, she does have a slight tendency to win"
  • "Now, now. None of that. Or I won't help you get Red's mongrel back"
  • "I happen to be seeking monetary gratification, yeah"
  • "No. See, you're not getting it, Mr. Bits. You're gonna be interestingly dead. Little Miss Tiny's got the habit of bollixing up the plans of every would-be unstoppable bad-ass who sets foot in this town. Just want you to know, when the big ugly goes down, Slayer's going to be right in the thick of it. You ready for that?"
  • "I get why all the demons all fall in line with you. You're like Tony Robbins. If he was a big, scary, Frankenstein-looking... You're exactly like Tony Robbins"
  • "Call it the Yoko factor. Don't tell me you've never heard of the Beatles?"
  • "Well, let's go save 'em, by gum"